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The PimpGuide System

You can't beat The System

So let's say you get in a bit of a jam. You're hangin out on the couch with shorty and you can't seem to figure out you're next move. Or let's say you haven't even gotten that far...you're at the party and you don't know how to get her attention. Or maybe your just some sorry schmuck whackin off at home right now and you would like next Saturday night to be a little more productive. What's your next move?

The PimpGuide System is the move. Think of The System as a panty dropping, booty poppin, roadmap to sweet pooty tang. Each kit includes 'The Aura of Pimpness' Booklet, which is our exclusive guide to how to use this system to its full potential (see below). Incorporated are the essential components on which The System relies, with differing levels of trappings in each kit. Designed to get you doin what you damn well know that you're both already thinking, it's the ultimate conversation piece...a box full of sexually suggestive fun.

Basically, we're hookin ya up w/game in a box. We took the thinkin outta pimpin. Now it's automatic. You're welcome.

Pimp Kit

Price: $18

'The Aura of Pimpness': the PimpGuide Manual

The manual is the heart of the PimpGuide System. While other books and sites focus on techniques to get girls, we focus on you. Instead of selling a two bit scheme, we are selling you self improvement. Charisma is the ultimate form of seduction, and that is what this aptly titled manual seeks to instill, via an understanding of both 'The Aura' and 'Pimpness', the two key principles that should guide your interactions with women.

Inside you will find:

  • A simplified understanding of the female psyche
  • How to get both mentally and physically prepared to meet women
  • How to interact with females and others in social settings
  • How to turn interaction into intercourse
  • Guide to both relaxation and erotic massages
  • Insider tips, drink guides, so called 'pick up lines', checklists, etc.
  • A big dose of 'Pimpatude'

    This book is designed to go hand-in-hand with the Pimp Guide Systems. Each System provides you with the basic tools that the proper execution of the techniques described in The Aura of Pimpness will necessitate. Hence, we created The System as a natural compliment to the The Aura.

    This book is unlike any guide to the opposite sex you'll ever read. It's not PC, it's not nice, and it's not pretty. It's fer real. It's what no one else so far was willing to tell you. This booklet is Pimpology 101 (well, is more like Playa Appreciation, cuz pimpin is an art, not a science). Plain and simple, this is the introductory course to how to get into a chicks head, and what to do once you get there. Granted most of you out there don't need to be told half this shit, and some of you need way more than any guide could help your sorry asses. But most of us lie somewhere between God's Gift and Gilbert Gottfried. To better serve our demographically heterogeneous clientele, we both stress the basics and drop some gems for you real playas out there. But we here at PimpGuide don't discriminate...there's enough pussy in this world for everyone. Well, except for in China. So for some of you this may form the foundation of a transformation from masturbation to self-actualization. For the rest of ya'll, this is a refresher course laced with some tidbits to 'Sharpen Your Game'. Besides, a refresher course is...uhh...refreshing.'

    ~'The Aura of Pimpness' Intro paragraph

    Contains over 60pgs of pimpin know-how!


    Most users found this kit drastically reduces the number of panties being worn after just one usage. This kit is, like... a scientifically proven system by which to increase sexual satisfaction. Side effects vary and users should consult with their left nut before beginning a sexual regiment. A condition known as 'perma-grin' is shown to occur substantially more frequently than with a sugar pill. Mmmmm...sugar pill.

    *This product has not been tested on animals. If you do that shit, we don't wanna know

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